10km ........ What was I thinking?

What's stopping you from going out and achieving? I have been asking myself this for sometime now. Just because  I'm married finished my degree and have a beautiful baby/toddler doesn't mean I'm done, I still need to keep moving forward working on me, bettering myself.

Sometimes the only one getting in your way is you! So I decided to challenge myself. 

My friend suggested we run a 5km race. So my sister husband and I started training for that a few months ago but we soon realised yes it was a little tough but we needed a bigger challenge so decided to go for the 10km race. I haven't run ( in a race) really since aged 12 so fast forward that many years and training to run 10km hmmm. I'd been practicing on the treadmill every chance that I got but hadn't completed more than 7k all in one go. We hadn't told anyone that we were doing the race but a few days before a family member laughed when we said we were doing it they didn't think I could do it!! This made me even more determined to finish that dang race even if I had to crawl, hobble or be dragged across that finish line. Race day came  and I was a bundle of nerves it was a beautiful day but couldn't stop thinking have I bitten off more than I could chew? 2.5 km in I got really bad shin splints and had to start walking. At that point every step I took was painful bearable but painful. My husband was nice enough to stick with me the whole way round the 10k course. At 8km I finally felt exhausted. All the upbeat songs on my playlist did little or nothing to boost my morale. I was tired, sweaty in pain and I just wanted to quit. I slowed to a snails pace and my husband was encouraging me on I think I told him to shut up or some words to that effect but he still kept telling me to push on. We got to the 9k mark and what faced us was the mother of all hills (Avenham Park hill) It felt like it went on up into the heavens at this point. I walked nearly crawled halfway and I groaned and yelled "I can't do it" I was done my legs hurt like hell and I didn't want to walk another step. I had 2 choices quit and try again maybe or finish and never have to do it again. That last 900 meters was the longest of my life and I hobbled my way to the Finish line with a time of 1 hour 25 mins and 59 seconds. I had aimed to do it in under an hour. To say I'm proud is an understatement I pushed my body to the limit and was able to Finish that race. I love that saying "Be stronger than you ever  imagined"

We never know what we are capable of until we try and even though it took my legs a week to recover and I absolutely hate running outdoors with a passion I think I'm going to do it again but try beat my time!!

1 year on

I cannot believe it we have reached the year mark Hunter is a year old. Where on earth has that time gone??! He's gotten so big and doesn't need his mummy as much :(

He's walking and very fast I might add especially when you take your eye off him in Next and he's just in the changing rooms admiring his reflection.

 He chatters away saying all sorts of ununderstandable things but he uses proper words like. 'Dada' , 'mama', 'yes' (but sounds like it has a j in front of it)  'juice', 'this this', 'darr' (for dog) 'grandad' and his favourite one 'What'. He uses it all the time, he grabs our phones all the time puts them to his ear and says 'what' it's the funniest/cutest thing ever!

He goes into the fridge brings me the milk then puts it back. 

Hides remotes, cheese graters, pan lids and pens in the bin so we can't use the bin anymore in case we throw something valuable out. 

He loves to go up to people when they are asleep and slap them in the face or give them a kiss. 9 times out of 10 its the slap. 

The other day he put cling film in the washing machine before I turned it on (face palm) 

He's loving nursery and they say he's such a character going through their cupboards , giggling like a mad hatter and going round kissing all the girls (eye roll) already.  

Nursery has really brought him out of his shell he follows people round Tesco when they are nice enough to speak to him.

In Tesco changing rooms he decided he was bored and would crawl under the cubicle door to get out I couldn't follow him out as I was half dressed so we grabbed his legs (phew thank goodness for grandmas ey) 

He loves to laugh and whenever he hears anyone else do it he copies.

Everyday we can't stop laughing this kid just does the funniest things we are so blessed to have him and look forward to every year. 

24 on the 24th :( but so grateful

Hmm 24 doesn't really sound an exciting age to be it's much further from 21 then 23 is but its not quite close enough to 30 yet. If anything I feel 30 times 2. Being a mother is tiring. Juggling a baby (who is now mobile) a huge laundry pile (that never gets smaller no matter how many washes I do a day) cleaning a house several times a day (as I have 2 babies if you count my husband) errands (how many times a week do I still have to pop to the supermarket even though we did a huge food shop at the start of the month)  oh and also fitting in some me time for making myself pretty (a 5 min shower while the baby naps then several jumping out the bath moments cause I think I've heard him cry or squeek or something).  

This month has been particularly hectic and as a result the last thing on my mind has been celebrating my birthday. We had a wedding at the beginning of the month as well as hubby starting a new job. Then hubby's birthday and surgery for me the day after, no not liposuction ( I  wish). Pregnancy was kind enough to leave me some gallstones, equaling bye bye gallbladder which I never realised I was quite fond of till I found out they were removing it. 

So I find myself now lying here at 3am asking myself where has the past year of my life gone? So I haven't achieved much but I am extremely grateful first of all to be ALIVE. I'm not as fit & healthy as I'd like to be but it's not the end of the world. I'm grateful for my BABY. A couple of blogger friends I have just recently lost their babies. A 5 month old little boy & a 3 year old little boy. I've been making sure to squeeze my little guy tighter everyday and to enjoy every minute spent with him he's learnt to crawl this week and to stand up by himself from a sitting position yikes slow down. I'm grateful for FAMILY. I'm fiercely independant so don't really like asking for help thank goodness my family popped round text and called without my asking them to. I'm grateful for EVERYDAY and night.  My days have been filled up with more excitement & entertainment than I thought was possible. I've literally crawled into my bed every night as well as a nap during the day too. Instead of looking at 23 as a wasted year of unfulfilled goals I will use it as a reminder to laugh & live a little more. 

E is for ...

Life is a one big blur/whirlwind of milk bottles and dirty nappies and now it's been a good 4 months since giving birth I  no longer have the excuse of I just had a baby so I've added the dreaded E word into my life. Exercise! The thought of it fills me with despair and disgust. Despair cause I am too damn tired from taking care of Hunter, obsessively cleaning my house and trying to solve World Peace. Disgust because I really don't want to get sweaty, I'd rather have a kitkat. Some women just bounce back to normal size after having a baby (hate them, secretly jealous). 

In terms of weight pregnancy was quite kind to me I lost 20lbs in the 1st 5 months due to morning sickness and even by the end of pregnancy I still hadn't gained it all back. So yay to being pre baby weight after delivery but noooo to whatever this body shape I'm left with. No one told me I could be the same size but my clothes wouldn't fit like they used to!! My belly feels and looks like a balloon that's been blown up and deflated a couple of times. I feel like that too ha ha. I know I didn't have a supermodel body before but in car terms I'd think I wasn't a sleek Porshe or Ferrari more a sturdy reliable spacious Vauxhall Zafira now I'm a beat up battered old  taxi cab with bags under my eyes. So with a wedding coming up in May and wanting to be fit, healthy and able to run around after our little man the hubby and I are on diets no scratch that 'lifestyle change' (eye roll). We still eat what we want but within our daily calorie allowance. I must admit I can feel the difference drinking a litre of water every day has made. I struggled at 1st because water tastes so awful but now I just gulp it down for the greater good. I'm going to get a cross trainer at home so I can exercise watch tv and be with Hunter all at the same time. I'm sure he'll have a right good laugh at my expense as I'm huffing and puffing on the machine.

3 months already/ video

Where has the time gone! Hunter is 3 months old now. I feel like I'm slowly losing my baby. He's learning new things everyday he likes to stand up when supported and is forever chattering away to himself. He's now starting to learn how to use his hands and can hold/pull things mainly mummy's hair! I love him more and more each day. My only issue is I was misinformed

 "after 6 weeks he'll settle , he'll sleep"

Yeah right this little man doesn't like to sleep anymore. He's back to dozing during the day and awake at night! Maybe it's due to Christmas holidays and getting out of our routine. But since he had his 1st lot of immunisations 3 weeks ago he will only sleep for 2/3 hours at a time again. Were going backwards :/ and he's become fussy and will only have his bottle if he's ready or in a certain position. If it wasn't for my lovely husband getting up with me every time then changing Hunters nappy, I think I would be a sleep deprived zombie ha ha.

Apart from that all is well. I think he enjoyed his first Christmas even though he couldn't have any Christmas dinner it was just lovely for us to go over the top and spend lots of time together with him. Ed took 2 weeks off work and it's been bliss. It's meant I can have a lie in and I haven't had to do a single poopy nappy! 

I feel so incredibly blessed especially now at the start if a New Year reflecting on the past one . My heart is full and I couldn't have asked for cuter little man who makes everyday more special than the last.

Hunter our greatest blessing from grace wild on Vimeo.

It's the most wonderful time of the year

Having  just celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary I am now solely focused on Christmas. I love Christmas and wanted to put the decorations up since mid November. It's Hunters 1st Christmas so I want it to be perfect and I don't think I've been this excited for anything in a long time. He's going to be 10 weeks old and isn't going to remember it at all but who cares I will right ha ha. I've got him 2 Christmas outfits 1 for Christmas Eve the other for Christmas Day. He's also got a bright red snowsuit with Ho Ho Ho on it. I cannot wait till Christmas morning and to get up and help him open his presents to sing lovely meaningful Christmas carols to him about Jesus's birth. I can't wait to teach him what the true meaning of Christmas is.

"Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before! What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"

Our family Christmas traditions truly start now. I feel so blessed to be able to share Christmas with our gorgeous little boy. The only thing that could make it any better is snow ;)

The Hood.... Motherhood

The past 4 weeks have been a blur. Changing nappies( ranging from tar to curry) making up bottles, sleepless nights and adjusting to being a mum. I get peed on and drooled on, on a daily basis. It takes me an extra hour to get out the house now and that does not include the added time when he decides to pee and soak his clothes too so an outfit change also. I have loved every single moment of it. I'm not the most maternal person but with Hunter I'm quite surprised its just come naturally in that I am so attuned to him.

The first week was spent recovering as I had the epidural so I didn't have my sea legs. I was walking like John Wayne as I just could not feel my legs at all ha ha. One thing I was adamant about was not falling prey to the dreaded Baby Blues. So I kept busy. Our 1st outing was when Hunter was 3 days old I just didn't want to wait around to feel down. We pretty much went out everyday after that for the 1st week. We also had midwife visits in there somewhere as well as family visiting . It was madness but I was just happy to not be pregnant anymore. 

2nd week Ed went back to work. The 1st day we dropped Ed off at the train station  we both had a little tear in our eyes. We'd literally spent every minute together since Hunter was born except for the 1st night in hospital on my own. Once Ed was at work all I had to do was feed and change Hunter all day. Most people advised sleeping when the baby sleeps. I didn't do that I cleaned, unpacked what was still in boxes and prepped Hunters next meal. I did this because I just had all this energy again that I didn't have at all during pregnancy. The days just flew by as I was busy every minute. Hunter hit the terrible 2s(2 weeks).  He had his days and nights mixed up equalling fussy baby at night poor little guy. 

3rd week Ive realised how quickly Hunter is growing he started out at 7lbs 5oz as of Halloween he is 8lbs 15oz the little chunk. He's growing up too fast. I'm now no longer filling every minute with cleaning I'm now spending every minute I can snuggling him. He's wide awake a lot more it's funny looking at him watch me move around the room. He's so inquisitive. He loves kicking his feet and throwing his arms about. He is my entire world now he's the cutest little thing and I can't imagine our lives without him. 

4th week got the 1st real smile not the I have gas smile. It was a huge gummy smile when I was a little annoyed, that certainly turned my frown upside down. Hunter during the day is a perfect baby during the night he isn't so angelic. The problem is he's still so darn cute even when he's screaming at 3 in the morning so my heart melts and I give in to his every whim. Shameful I know I'm the adult he's the infant but I can't help it.

Being a mother feels like the easiest thing in the world to me for now. My husband is great in the middle of the night he gets up to make the bottles, I change the nappy, he feeds him and I put him to sleep. We are an effective team. I think it's also because I'm not yet a parent ha ha. I don't discipline I just snuggle, love and care for him. It's hard to see him cry or in pain but I love holding him and trying to make it better. I love being Hunters mummy I want him to stay little forever. I'm just enjoying every precious moment with this gorgeous little poser