It's the most wonderful time of the year

Having  just celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary I am now solely focused on Christmas. I love Christmas and wanted to put the decorations up since mid November. It's Hunters 1st Christmas so I want it to be perfect and I don't think I've been this excited for anything in a long time. He's going to be 10 weeks old and isn't going to remember it at all but who cares I will right ha ha. I've got him 2 Christmas outfits 1 for Christmas Eve the other for Christmas Day. He's also got a bright red snowsuit with Ho Ho Ho on it. I cannot wait till Christmas morning and to get up and help him open his presents to sing lovely meaningful Christmas carols to him about Jesus's birth. I can't wait to teach him what the true meaning of Christmas is.

"Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before! What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"

Our family Christmas traditions truly start now. I feel so blessed to be able to share Christmas with our gorgeous little boy. The only thing that could make it any better is snow ;)

The Hood.... Motherhood

The past 4 weeks have been a blur. Changing nappies( ranging from tar to curry) making up bottles, sleepless nights and adjusting to being a mum. I get peed on and drooled on, on a daily basis. It takes me an extra hour to get out the house now and that does not include the added time when he decides to pee and soak his clothes too so an outfit change also. I have loved every single moment of it. I'm not the most maternal person but with Hunter I'm quite surprised its just come naturally in that I am so attuned to him.

The first week was spent recovering as I had the epidural so I didn't have my sea legs. I was walking like John Wayne as I just could not feel my legs at all ha ha. One thing I was adamant about was not falling prey to the dreaded Baby Blues. So I kept busy. Our 1st outing was when Hunter was 3 days old I just didn't want to wait around to feel down. We pretty much went out everyday after that for the 1st week. We also had midwife visits in there somewhere as well as family visiting . It was madness but I was just happy to not be pregnant anymore. 

2nd week Ed went back to work. The 1st day we dropped Ed off at the train station  we both had a little tear in our eyes. We'd literally spent every minute together since Hunter was born except for the 1st night in hospital on my own. Once Ed was at work all I had to do was feed and change Hunter all day. Most people advised sleeping when the baby sleeps. I didn't do that I cleaned, unpacked what was still in boxes and prepped Hunters next meal. I did this because I just had all this energy again that I didn't have at all during pregnancy. The days just flew by as I was busy every minute. Hunter hit the terrible 2s(2 weeks).  He had his days and nights mixed up equalling fussy baby at night poor little guy. 

3rd week Ive realised how quickly Hunter is growing he started out at 7lbs 5oz as of Halloween he is 8lbs 15oz the little chunk. He's growing up too fast. I'm now no longer filling every minute with cleaning I'm now spending every minute I can snuggling him. He's wide awake a lot more it's funny looking at him watch me move around the room. He's so inquisitive. He loves kicking his feet and throwing his arms about. He is my entire world now he's the cutest little thing and I can't imagine our lives without him. 

4th week got the 1st real smile not the I have gas smile. It was a huge gummy smile when I was a little annoyed, that certainly turned my frown upside down. Hunter during the day is a perfect baby during the night he isn't so angelic. The problem is he's still so darn cute even when he's screaming at 3 in the morning so my heart melts and I give in to his every whim. Shameful I know I'm the adult he's the infant but I can't help it.

Being a mother feels like the easiest thing in the world to me for now. My husband is great in the middle of the night he gets up to make the bottles, I change the nappy, he feeds him and I put him to sleep. We are an effective team. I think it's also because I'm not yet a parent ha ha. I don't discipline I just snuggle, love and care for him. It's hard to see him cry or in pain but I love holding him and trying to make it better. I love being Hunters mummy I want him to stay little forever. I'm just enjoying every precious moment with this gorgeous little poser

Labour ain't no joke

I'm going to do this post while it is still fresh in my mind and I remember the pain. For me labour was a labourious process ha .

I had planned to go to a nearby birth Centre so that my husband would be able to stay with me overnight after the birth. The birth centre would mean no strong pain relief only pethidine and gas and air. There'd also be baths for water births which is what I wanted. They always look so easy and relaxing. 

My due date came and went I was bouncing on my bouncy ball like a loon, eating pineapple, curry, raspberry leaf tea, speed bumps you name it I did it. He wasn't shifting. I had been feeling cramp like pains for a week when they suddenly intensified on Monday 7th October. 2 days after my due date at 1am I was in so much pain I couldn't sleep. We called the birth centre they said the 'cramps' seemed like early contractions Yess!! Hallelujah! We had to time them and when they got regular and 3-5mins apart to go in. They got closer but not close enough by Tuesday they were starting to really hurt so we went to the birth centre they checked me I was 2-3cm. Yes on the right track. They gave me a TENS machine for pain relief so I could sleep as I hadn't slept Monday due to the pain. I didn't sleep Tuesday either. I was in agony pacing the bedroom and banging on the wall every time I had a contraction.I went back again when my waters broke one of the midwives checked me said I was 4cm yippee right not. I was admitted but had to wait for a room to be cleaned we waited 4 hours then another midwife checked me and said I was 3cm what??? They said go home wait it out. I told them I was in too much pain they told me to go to the hospital and they could give me pain relief tablets but I would have to go to hospital in 24 hours anyway because my waters had broken and there was risk of infection. I went in the next day there wasn't any room on delivery suite as they were extremely busy. We had to stay on the maternity ward till there was room! From 5pm till 4am I was writhing around in pain on the ward. I would doze off as at this point I was reaching 72 hours without sleep, then wake up screaming because of the contractions. Finally at 4 we went up to delivery. I wanted the EPIDURAL. My whole pregnancy I was against it for so many reasons the risks the after effects, the back problems possibly in the future but I was exhausted  and just wanted the pain to stop. Ironically we were in the room with the only birthing pool! Anyway fast forward gas in air, anesthetist leaving half way through for emergency, getting fluids pumped into me as I had a temperature another one then finished off administering the epidural,getting the drip to speed up my irregular contractions and me Ed and my sister Michelle enjoying a nice relaxing morning waiting for when it was time to push. My sister is a trainee midwife and knew the midwife who was looking after me which was nice. Bev was lovely. With the epidural I couldn't feel anything the pain was completely gone but after about 5 hours I said Bev I can feel him moving when he moves she just said yeah ok. When she came back from her quick lunch break I told her I could feel him the baby again she checked and then said oh I can see the head. She asked Michelle to pass her the delivery gloves. 15mins of pushing later and he was out our little Gary wasn't in my belly anymore. It was amazing and overwhelming. After all the sleepless nights and hours of excruciating pain our little boy was in our arms. I felt so blessed and so grateful for my sister being there and telling me to push and my husband for rubbing my back constantly all through the night without complaint. He was brave for me cause I hate the sight of blood and had to literally go overboard on the gas in air so I wasn't fully aware of what was going on. My husband is my hero. I'm glad our son has a dad like him. Welcome to the world Hunter Maxon Wild you were totally worth every minute of pain. 7lbs 5oz.

Ready to pop

37 weeks pregnant planning to move at exactly 38 weeks then dum dum dum due to unforeseen circumstances can't do so till a week later. Luckily able to temporarily move somewhere else for a week phew!

My back hurts, my pelvis hurts and my ribs hurt who knew carrying a belly could affect you soo much.

I've hated pregnancy but I'm really going to miss his little nudges that wake me up in the morning. Or his kicking me violently whenever I rest my arms or the iPad on my belly. I'm especially going to miss keeping him all to myself ;) Ed said the cutest thing I have ever heard him say this morning "I can't wait for Saturday mornings with my little boy. I'm going to push him in the pram to the park" Aww bless him he's going to be such a good dad! 

I seem to have grown overnight ha ha 

Baby equipment

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4.

5. 

6.

Getting everything has been pretty straightforward and simple for us.

1.Travel System

From day one when we went to Mamas & Papas we fell in LOVE with our pram. Ed didn't want a fragile cheap thing and I wanted stylish great! There was soo much to choose from! As soon as we saw that Stokke at the beginning of the year we knew it was the one. It has adjustable height so baby can see when they are older. It is super sturdy and strong and it looks Good. It comes with a 3 year warranty. Only problem was it was a small fortune for the full set :S luckily we have been blessed and Momma helped us get it and it was on offer! We have got it in Black Melange which is gorgeous and unisex!

2.Bed 

I had a cot in mind but had never seen it in this country. It was a big sturdy thing from Pottery Barn baby but once again pricey! Aargh why do I like expensive things. We decided to get a cotbed because it means it gets used till 5 years. It's beautiful and white. Question why does the price not include the mattress it's crazy how much they want you to pay!

3.Clothes

Having a boy I thought it would be impossible to find cute clothes but I've found it's totally the opposite boys clothes are more fun! You get to put a whole outfit together. A top a jumper/jacket some bottoms and then some shoes. Girls it's just dress shoes headband. Between me my mum and sister we've supplied Next, Debenhams, Ted Baker, Mothercare, Boots and Tesco with steady custom! My favourite has been Boots. Who knew they sold clothes till January when my manager at work told me since then I'm in and out every week!

4.Feeding utensils

This has been a hard one. What bottles to get aargh. You never realise how many are out there till you go to the baby aisle in a supermarket Avent, Tomee Tippee Dr Browns specifically made to help with colic. I ended up choosing the Tomee Tippee as they were on offer and they are a good shape to hold when baby gets old enough to!

5.Bath and Changing

Before I knew what I was having I I wanted a polka dot change mat lol. Walked into Mothercare found a beige polka dot unisex one. We hadn't specifically planned to get a baby bath but were blessed enough to be given one woo 

6.Nappies

They are so expensive and what to get I've spent hours on the Internet reading on forums which are the best. Most people say Pampers and Huggies aren't. Surprisingly Asdas Little Angels and Aldis own have come up top a lot. We got given 150 free nappie 1 pack of Asdas little Angels the other Wilkos own. So it's going to be a trial and error type of game I think.

Although I can't wait for pregnancy to be over I'm going to miss shopping and having an excuse to ;) The amount of times "I've said but the baby needs it" or "I can't help it its my hormones" is phenomenal. 

Freebies

Everyone loves getting things especially when they are free. Pregnancy is no exception. By signing up to a couple of baby sites I've managed to get free Avent baby bottle a cute polar bear teddy and baby packs containing things like nappy rash cream to washing powder to muslin cloths. 

There is so much out there play mats play gyms. Swings, bouncers and rockers its so easy to get caught up in all that and buying everything for the baby. 

I  think we're finally done. I've found a pretty good basic list online of essentials. Now I need to start thinking about my hospital bag : S

34 weeks ....6 weeks left

Aaaaargh! Oh my goodness I know I have been desperate for this pregnancy to end but now my due date is so near I'm wanting time to slow down so I can get my head around becoming a parent. It hit me the other day I'm going to be home on my own with a baby! My baby so I can't just hold it and give it back when it starts crying or when it has a poopie nappy. What was I thinking its too late to turn back now. I'm not worried about the getting him out just what to do with him when he is out?! At least I have Ed with me all day everyday for the first 2 weeks after that its just me and Gary.

30 weeks ... Home stretch

30 weeks today and I am seriously fed up! I'm tired all the time and this heat wave we have been having is not helping. I feel dizzy lightheaded and faint when I overheat. So I have to lie down a lot.

On a more positive note the end is in sight. I can safely push out Gary in 7 weeks as he'd still be full term so wouldn't have to stay in hospital!! I'm so excited to give him his eviction notice! As much as I enjoy having my belly used as a punching bag and watching him do the Mexican wave across my belly at midnight every night I would love to have my body back. To not have my bladder kicked repeatedly or my ribs either. He's starting to run out of room so I'm all for him moving out. Plus I can't wait to hold him in my arms. I've had to get a substitute in the meantime, Little Sheepy I know I've lost my dang mind but this is keeping me going till I have Gary

24 weeks...6 months!

17 weeks 5 days felt the baby really move for the first time I had felt bubbly pop kinda of feelings but just put that down to gas :S

21 weeks Ed my husband felt the baby kick for the first time in the supermarket of all places.

22 weeks 3 days saw baby's kicks on the outside of my belly.

22 weeks 5 days Ed saw baby's kicks on the outside of my belly. 

This little baby has been telling me from 17 weeks he's a boy with the amount of energy he has and how much he likes to kick mummy. It's such a strange feeling to feel his kicks. Sometimes it makes me jump and go "ooh" because it takes me by surprise other times its like aw he likes  my voice and is responding. Other times his dad decides to scare him by putting Top Gun on surround sound on TV. He kicked me in the ribs the other day it didn't hurt but it certainly was not comfortable :S I mostly get excited for his little milestones for Ed because he doesn't really get to bond with our little guy like I do. It made me so emotional when Ed had his hand on my belly and then he got to see the kicks on my belly it was such a beautiful moment. I'm so excited for our baby boy to be born, that and I'm starting to get big lol. Now we are at the 24 week mark its going slowly and fast all at the same time.I love him so much i want him to cuddle already. He has enough clothes for the first 3 months we just need his big things now cot, pram etc.

...boy or girl

We had our 20 week scan last Friday. I was hoping for a girl my husband was hoping for a boy. When we got to the scan baby was really low down sitting on my bladder. She spent 10 mins scanning and viewing what she could but she didn't have a clear enough view. So she said if we went outside walked around and drank more water baby would probably move up. 1 and 1/2 litres and fuller bladder later she was scanning away but baby was being shy and covering their face which she needed to see. She showed us baby's heart ventricles the spine and even baby's full bladder too ! Finally baby moved their hand we got to see their face. We then asked what gender. After she told us I said are you sure she then showed us the screen. No doubt about it .....

Pregnancy ... sickness and discouragement

Ok I'm gonna say it pregnancy has been hard on me. I want what I was promised on the tin! The wonderful glow, the super long mermaid hair that grows like weeds the extra energy boost from hormones and a cute round bump with matching Mother Nature smile on my face. Ive struggled with the aches and pains (nobody said anything about still getting cramps although apparently that's your uterus growing or expanding, plus  my joints especially my pelvic bones aching when walking) the nausea constantly from week 5 till week 17/18 (oh man I've felt like I'm always on a boat I ended buying anti sickness bands to take the edge off) the mood swings (my poor husband probably thinks I'm a crazy person now, one minute I'm crying the next I want to kill someone seriously) migraines and body changes (things ballooning and all sorts). I feel like I have lost control of everything between the constant need to use the bathroom, the bloating and gas I'm a mess! My body isn't my own I actually feel like an oven or something. Mornings have been unbearable I practically beg my husband to kill me.

I expected the vomiting/morning sickness but I guess I didn't think it would happen to me cause I'm quite resilient when it comes to getting ill and stuff. I cant eat like I used to and now I'm lactose intolerant well baby probably is. If I eat any dairy within 3 hours I violently throw it up also I didn't expect the fatigue man oh man I sleep in till 2pm and its still not enough. I never realised growing another human being took so much effort on my part. Every body says oh I loved every minute of pregnancy the bump and the way clothes fitted me eating what I wanted. I've hated every minute I've wanted to rewind time and what? I don't know I still would have decided to have a baby but its just these irrational thoughts and bargaining with your self. I hate the way I look my belly can't be sucked in anymore I feel so fat and I'm only gonna get bigger! I hate it when people look at my belly yes I'm fat and pregnant. I use Palmers body butter obsessively but I get a new stretchmark everyday there goes my chances of ever becoming a swimwear/lingerie model.

I know my husbands gonna be great dad but one thing that has plagued me through out this whole process is the M word. Mother I can't say it about myself still. I'm not the maternal type and sure don't suffer fools gladly! So what am I gonna offer this baby. I'm probably gonna have the highest heels and well kept hair but I'm not going to be winning any mum of the year awards. I'm still a kid I have raves in the car to chavvy music. I jump on the bed I laugh at silly things. Feelings of inadequacy can be all consuming sometimes I'm just trying to take each day as it comes and hopefully by the time the baby is here I can cook bake sew and all those wonderful things a mother is supposed to do.

Scan day

Monday the 25th of March took forever to come around! I was itching to see our baby. Running up to that time I'd had awful nightmares that I went to the scan there was no baby there. Then another one that we missed the appointment completely. I've slowly realised being pregnant has made me have paranoid slightly irrational thoughts of late so I just wanted some assurance I was just crazy lol.

Monday came around and I got all ready to go Ed was a little tense cause I guess if anything had gone wrong he'd have to be strong for me. I was just super excitable and trying to be positive. We got to the appointment early and I started feeling quesy possibly because of nerves or just cause I always feel sick. The radiographer called us in. She was younger than I expected and asked me to lay on the bed. She put the jelly on my belly and started scanning straight away! I couldn't see anything and she was just quiet thank goodness for Ed cause he could see the screen and I saw his reaction. He saw Gary first. He just looked at the screen in awe. I was there freaking out thinking yeah you can see Gary but is he ok? After a century it seemed of having this scanner shoved hard into my lower abdomen the radiographer said just one baby. Phew sigh of relief not twins or triplets just one. After that I could relax a little or could I . Gary wasn't in the position she needed him to be so she told me to cough. Nope he didn't move.10 coughs later nothing. So she asked me to stand up and march on the spot. I jumped. Got back on the bed nothing. I then had to roll over on the bed and finally Gary moved stubborn little one like his dad! Eventually after 15 mins of her scanning she showed me Gary it was the most beautiful strangest looking thing I had ever seen. I coughed and he moved his little arms and legs it was soo cute. I started crying. It was just amazing how this little thing inside me not even the size of my fist yet could move and respond to my movements too. I think at that moment that's when I truly fell in love with our baby. Gary was real, real stubborn too. I can't wait 6 months to meet him or her ;) I've got alot of growing up to do before then and goodness knows I need to get some books or something on babies. I probably won't be the best mum in the world but I can sure as hell try. That word mum still sounds weird when I'm talking about myself but I guess whether I'm ready or not I'm going to become one in 6 months.

Us waiting for the scan me eager Ed sleepy.

Our little Wild one at 12 weeks 2 days.

Us all excited and ready to tell the world

Third comes a BaBy in a baby carriage

We've all heard that popular rhyme
....sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, second comes marriage third comes a baby in a baby carriage. We'll we're pregnant due 5 October!! The following entries are written as they happened

29 January 2013 - did the test. Twice might I add I couldn't look at the result so made my hubby read it lol I was too scared it would positive & too scared it would be negative. Ed looked at it & said "does the plus sign mean pregnant" I grabbed it & said yes I couldn't believe it. i started to cry and Ed was a little in shock. The second test was a fancy Clearblue digital that tells you exactly when conception occurred it said 2-3 weeks which in Doctors terms is actually 4-5 weeks. We are 4 weeks & 4 days pregnant! Feeling scared cause its gonna have to come out somehow :/ but extremely excited because all I've wanted for a while now is a baby :) let the good times roll.

30th January 2013
Called up to make an appointment with the doctor thinking oh it won't be till next week they fitted me in same day. I was soo nervous I made Ed come in with me I know I'm a wimp :P all he did was weigh me & estimate when I was due with a flippin app on his iPhone!! Really I had already done that with one of my apps on my phone what has the world come to these days ey doctors looking up your due date on an iPhone app could have stayed home for that only bonus was the free iron tablets he gave me score! It feels a bit more real now cause he's referredme to the midwife & I should hear back soon . I'm going to be a mum ... That sounds too weird I'm going to have a baby .. That's more like it.

13th February 2013
I have been battling with morning sickness now for a week. Well nausea. Making a human is hard every hour of every day I feel sick I cant eat and everything smells awful. Ive lost 1/2 a stone so far which is the only bonus lol. I am counting down the days till week 12 when hopefully I will feel better.

5 March 2013
It's 11pm and I've just been sick. It's only the 3rd time since the nausea started at 5 weeks I'm now 9 weeks 3 days. I'm fed up and really want to have a good hearty meal. Food disgusts me at the moment and its hard to hide it in public. My 12 week scan is on the 25 th March so I am counting down the hours now!

21 March 2013
Now 11weeks and 4 days baby ( Gary as my 17 year old brother has called him/her) is really testing me. I'm now throwing up twice a day & have somehow got a cold which I can't take any medicine for. The only thing that has kept me from killing myself this past week is that our ultrasound is on Monday at 9.10 am a bit early I know but I can't wait to see our little one. It will finally be 'real' you know.

New Year New Start

Another year has flown by now 11 days into 2013 and looking back Im kind of glad 2012 is over. It kind of felt like a year that wasnt going anywhere for me alot has happened but not all as positive as I would like. Low points were my car breaking down then having to get a new one. Then the new one getting hit twice within a 3 week period after we finished paying for it. Not being able to find a dream job. Hi lights were graduating from University getting a new car finally and getting called into Young Womens I love my girls they are awesome and make me laugh so much its been lovely to see them grow and change each week into amazing young women.

Last year I set my resolutions way too high I had too many and they were kinda unachievable so Im keeping it simple this year just after New Years I sat down and wrote down my resolutions.

I really started getting into running last year only on the treadmill of course running outside nah people can see you! I want to do something but I don't know what Im just one person but maybe I could run for charity or send money to charity either way just think about people less fortunate than I. Anyone who knows me knows I cant cook to save my life I hate cooking with a passion now baking I love give me any recipe in the world. I can follow it word for word and produce whatever it says I don.t know how but that I can. Last is one thats been on my list for years I want to play an instrument or learn a language. I have a keyboard in my living room and a spanish learning cd so I have the tools and next year I will be playing songs and singing in Spanish lol.